U.S. Patent No. 8,609,158: Diane’s manna.
JW Note: Thanks to Guy L. for bringing this patent to our attention. Guy tells us that his favorite quotes also include:
Column 1, Line 24:
“Exhibit G has a combination that is so strong after you quit taking it, that every drug manufacturer on this planet will be wanting to kill me.”
Column 3, Line 12:
“I am almost normal when I take my favorite best method.”
Column 18, Line 10:
Some ingredients include “sand, dirt, rock, volcanic ash…”
Column 20, Line 41:
“The Dr’s had me on $800 per month mood stabilizers”
This is a potent drug with narcotic benefits made from distinctly and uniquely combined and processed interchangeable seed and seed derivatives that are so potent that it removes or alleviates depression, mood disorders, Attention Disorder symptoms, thought disorder, mental illness, pain, right lip retardation symptoms, physical problems, Lymph Node cancer and many other illness symptoms. It removes bumps in the neck within a week or two. It is interchangeable in most aspects. It can be combined and processed with Pharmaceuticals and medicines to create new drugs. These Pharmaceuticals are now long lasting. I prefer the daily dose, but this drug can last months. It is extremely strong or potent and can be made weak to make your little Attention deficit child normal. It is an incredible mood stabilizer and reduces psychosis. Use it for cancer patient and for people with pain issues. It works.
This medicine is a continual drug made from interchangeable ingredients that heals and alleviates the symptoms of many illnesses including cancer and mental illness and pain and many others with the unique benefit it can be combined with medicines like Zyprexa with the benefit of this combination lasting months with a extremely strong, narcotic in nature and easily tamed medicinal benefit for over 21 days. Although please understand, I don’t need to add Zyprexa or Ibuprofen to this medicine because it is good enough to do the job without adding any medicine to it.
This is a food. I used basic food to make this drug. You can use the plants and ingredients from the backyard, the field, or the grocery store to make this drug. This is a medicine that continues inside the human and animal body that will work on most or many symptoms in Exhibit A. Exhibit A and B are a complete or mostly complete list of mine and Micah’s illness symptoms. I started with simple 1 to 3 ingredients combinations of which were all interchangeable, even the processes were interchangeable. Exhibit G has a combination that is so strong after you quit taking it, that every drug manufacturer on this planet will be wanting to kill me. I did it. It is a food combination. This is a food that can be interchanged with many other like kind ingredients. The processes used are many, but I sampled all of them and eliminated many of the side-effects by eliminating combinations that do not work. It is a processed drug. It is a drug. I spent almost 6 years sampling and changing these to make one interchangeable ingredient great one (with many variations) in best methods exhibit and favorite best methods exhibit and have used hundreds and written thousands. They all are good, but some are better than others. The interchangeability of this drug and the number of interchangeability and processing of ingredients up to 7 is so crucial to making strong or weak drugs and the 7 ingredient combination makes this drug continually medicate the body and it can make other medicines continue also. I can use 3 ingredients, 1 or 7, other combinations and more additions and processes them all many ways.
I am a minister who has prayed my way through this medicine.
THE INVENTION CLAIMED IS:
1. A method of treating a human suffering from cancer, pain, and Bipolar disorder consisting essentially of administering to said human therapeutically effective amounts of evening primrose oil, rice, sesame seeds, green beans, coffee, meat, cheese, milk, green tea extract, evening primrose seeds, and wine.
U.S. Patent No. 4,151,613: Protective device for the buttocks and hips of a person for use in skateboarding.
JW Note: For all our readers who are also skateboarding enthusiasts!
What is claimed is:
1. A flexible, unitarily molded, protective device for wearing on and protecting the buttocks and hips of a person engaging in the sport of skateboarding comprising:
a. casing means having resilient means disposed therein and having a generally rectangular configuration adapted to be worn around a person’s midsection and comprising cutout sections in the upper portion providing upwardly extending arm members;
b. said arm members comprising slot means containing a belt member therethrough;
c. said rectangular casing means including a lower main body portion comprising tongue means and annular slot means at each side;
d. a pair of double stranded cord means secured to the lower central portion of said main body portion and to said annular slot means on each side of said lower body portion whereby said device is worn and secured around a person’s waist by securing said belt member to the person’s waist and securing each of said cord means around each of the person’s legs.
U.S. Patent No.8,147,323: Gaming machine with visual and audio indicia changed over time.
JW Note: Wishing a Happy Holidays to all! See you in 2014!
For more holiday TIW? from years past, click here.
What is claimed is:
1. A gaming system, comprising: a gaming terminal having a display for displaying (i) a basic game having a plurality of symbols that indicate a randomly selected outcome selected from a plurality of outcomes, (ii) one of a first group of bonus games in response to a special event occurring during the basic game within a first time period, (iii) one of a second group of bonus games in response to the special event occurring during the basic game within a second time period, the second time period occurring after the first time period, and (iv) one of the first group of bonus games in response to the special event occurring during the basic game within a third time period, the third time period occurring after the second time period; and a controller coupled to the gaming terminal and operative to (i) associate the first group of bonus games with the basic game during the first time period, (ii) associate the second group of bonus games with the basic game during the second time period such that, during the second time period, the second group of bonus games can be played but the first group of bonus games cannot be played, and (iii) associate the first group of bonus games with the basic game during the third time period such that, during the third time period, the first group of bonus games can be played but the second group of bonus games cannot be played.
U.S. Patent No.1,466,559: Exercising device.
1. A device for exercising the teeth comprising a plate adapted to correspond with the articulation of the user, and means connected with the plate for exerting traction on said plate whereby the teeth are positively exercised, as and for the purpose set forth.
2. A device for exercising the teeth comprising a plate of suitable material, means for reinforcing said plate, said reinforcing means projecting from said plate in the form of an eye, and traction-producing means secured to said eye.
3. A device for exercising the teeth comprising a plate formed to conform to the articulation of the user, and traction-producing means adapted to be attached to said 10 plate, said traction-producing means comprising a pliable elastic member.
4:. As a new article of manufacture, a de– wearer vice for exercising the teeth, comprising a plate shaped to conform to the contour of the mouth and having on each side comparatively deep depressions to receive the teeth, said depressions corresponding in number to the teeth of the user so that each tooth will be seated in a depression, the plate being rovided with a member projecting from gs front portion whereby when traction is exerted upon said member, each individual tooth will be exercised.
U.S. Design Patent No. D72,334: Design for a paper weight.
JW Note: Yet another hat tip to the Creepy IP Series at the United States Patent and Trademark Office for bringing this one to our attention.
I claim: The ornamental design for a paper weight, as shown.
U.S. Patent No. 420,995: Beheading block and ax.
JW Note: Hat tip and thanks again to the Creepy IP Series at the United States Patent and Trademark Office for bringing this one to our attention.
Having described my invention, what I claim, and desire to secure by Letters Patent, Is-
1. In an executioners headblock, the combination, with the body of the block, of a neck-rest provided with an opening closed by flexible strips, substantially as described.
U.S. Patent No. 4,833,729: Shark protector suit.
JW Note: Hat tip to the “Creepy IP Series” at the United States Patent and Trademark Office for bringing this one to our attention.
1. A suit for protecting its wearer from attack by sharks comprising:
rubber suit means for substantially completely covering the wearer’s body;
closed helmet means including a face mask attached to the suit means for substantially completely covering the wearer’s head;
glove means attached to the suit means for substantially completely covering the wearer’s hands;
shoe means attached to the suit means for substantially completely covering the wearer’s feet;
elongated spike means for repelling sharks extending outwardly from the suit means and helmet means; and rigid plate means attached to an outer surface of the suit for protecting the wearer.